My name is Kim. I am 33 years old. On March 20th, 2006, I was given a new lease on life. I had gastric bypass surgery and my life has not been the same since.

I’ve battled with my weight for my entire life. The very first diet I tried was in elementary school, fourth or fifth grade. It was Weight Watchers. I was so embarrassed at school during lunch as everyone else drank their milk from cartons but I drank mine from a glass, as it was “special” milk (skim). I had to go to these boring meetings. Most of the time I would just bring my homework. I’m sure my mom asked me if I wanted to do Weight Watchers but I don’t remember. I only remember coming home crying all the time because I was so much different than everyone else and was sick of being made fun of.

The next diet was either in Middle School or High School It was the wonderful 1200 calorie diet, given to me by my doctor. No horror stories from that. I really don’t remember too much. I do remember how I felt so fat and so much bigger than everyone else and wanting to change. I didn’t exercise other than marching band. I was a size 18 when I graduated high school.

Then came college…and the freshman 40…or more. That started my love of fast food and junk food. Yes, I had access to that stuff in high school, but without mom cooking supper at night, I had to fend for myself. Plus, I was less active and really put on the weight.

By the time I turned 20, I decided I’d had enough. A co-worker told me about this wonderful diet she went on called Nutri/System. She lost a lot of weight and knew I could too. So I made an appointment and started the diet. In eight months I had lost sixty nine pounds. This was with strict diet and exercise daily. Then I moved away from home, got out of my routine of exercise and eating healthy and started putting the weight back on. That was the fall of 1996.

Between 1996 and 2005 I started and stopped so many diets…Weight Watchers, Atkins, Mayo Clinic, Carbohydrate Addicts, Rice Diet, Grapefruit Juice Diet. I even took Merida and Xenical – prescription weight loss drugs. Tried Nutri/System again, joined gyms. Nothing seemed to be a long term thing.

In 2000, I had heard about a new procedure that had helped people lose weight much like stomach stapling, but different. Several celebrities were in the spotlight for having it done. So I checked it out to see if it was for me. The statistics scared me. 1 in 200 die. Is being thin worth risking death? So, I put the thought of surgery on the back burner. My weight kept increasing. I thought more about surgery.

Finally I spoke to someone who ran a support group in Cincinnati (where I was living at the time) and had gastric bypass. She was such an inspiration to me and talking to her made me feel at ease. So, I attended a seminar for the surgical group that her support group was affiliated with. I was on a waiting list for a year before I could get a consultation appointment. When the day finally arrived, I was excited. But that didn’t last long. The next day I received a call from the doctor’s office telling me my insurance didn’t cover WLS. That was September 2003.

So between then and September 2005, I just survived. Tried more diets, didn’t stick to anything. I would get discouraged so easily cause I never saw results.

Then, in September 2005, I met a woman who works at the same university my husband had just started working for. We were discussing WLS and I had told her my husband worked at MSU. She told me MSU insurance covered WLS. I was ecstatic! Of course, I tried not to get my hopes up until I knew for sure, which would mean January, when we were eligible for enrollment.

In the meantime, my health was deteriorating. 2005 was the worst year of my life, health wise. My weight was so high, I couldn’t be weighed on the scale at my doctor’s office that went up to 350. My knees hurt all the time. The arches in my feet had fallen. My IBS caused me to have chronic diarrhea for over a month. I had shingles on my forehead. I had my gall bladder out. I was tired all of the time and i was just plain tired of living. I was chronically depressed. It was bad. I missed work all of the time. Home was not fun either.

Then came January. Time to see if Hubby’s insurance would cover WLS. Through Dr. Koelsch, who removed my gall bladder, I found Centennial Center for the Treatment of Obesity. Dr. Hugh Houston, who is from the town I live in, practices in that center. They had a seminar in Nashville on the 6th of January, and I found out only the day before. Yes, short notice, but I was on my way!

Dr. Douglas Olsen lectured at the seminar. (I was very impressed with this as the other seminar I attended in Cincinnati was ran by a secretary.) Dr. Olsen was very knowledgable and made me feel at ease. I was also very impressed with his credentials. He and his former partner invented the laproscopic gall bladder removal procedure. He must really know his stuff. So I chose Dr. Olsen over the hometown connection.

For the continued version, read the next post. I have journaled from then on…just needed to get this journaled somewhere.

Here is my journal from Obesity Help. I haven’t updated in a long time, and I just posted everything from there. I’ll try to put photos in at a later time, but I’m too sleepy to do it tonight.

January 28, 2006 12:00 am
I have my consultation, psych evaluation and nutritional evaluation scheduled for Thursday, Feb. 2. I’m excited, nervous, scared, thrilled…lots of emotions right now. I finished filling out the 18 page “Biopsychosocial Questionaire” last night and I hope they don’t think I’m too looney to have the surgery. I answered all of the questions as honestly as possible. Hopefully, that won’t be counted against me.

February 5, 2006 12:00 am
I had my consultation on Thursday. It was a full day for me and my friend Jenni, who came along for the ride. She really wants to have WLS too, but she is unemployed and does not have insurance. She can’t get a job because she cannot stand for too long and is having trouble finding a job where she can sit. Since she doesn’t have a job, she has no insurance. It’s just a vicious cycle. Anyway, my first appointment in Nashville was at 9 am at the Evelyn Frye Center (Psych Evaluation). It was a breeze. They told me it would take three hours. Luckily, it didn’t. I had to take two tests. There were questions that I would answer very true, mainly true, slightly true or false. And there were some crazy questions on there…I have been on the cover of several magazines lately. Were they doing this just to see if I was delusional? They told me that it would take two hours to complete the tests and I finished in one. Luckily the clinician could see me early, so we were out by 11. She was very nice and easy to talk to. She said that she saw no reason why the surgery wouldn’t be perfect for me. Then we went to a place for lunch that I had never been to…Qdobas. It was a mexican grill. Was pretty good. Then off to see the surgeon. His staff was really nice. There were two girls. One was Kendra and was very nice. I don’t remember the other one but she was very nice too. I think she was new, because Kendra was telling her what all information to get. Then I met with Dr. Olsen. He was very nice. He answered all my questions. In fact, he stayed in there answering my questions for so long, I was late for my nutrition appointment. She (Barbara at Centennial) was also very nice. Overall, everything went great. And the best news of all, Kendra told me that my out of pocket fee would be around $1190. I figured it would be my entire out of pocket for the year ($3000) so I’m a happy camper. We have to have that on the day of my pre-op testing (7-10 days before surgery) but other than that, everything’s good. She said I should call my insurance company this Friday to see if they received the information and if they approved it. Hopefully, everything will go smoothly and I’ll have a date soon!

February 14, 2006 12:00 am
Happy Valentine’s Day! Everything seems to be going so slow for me. I was told by the doctor’s office that once my insurance has given us the ok, I can have my surgery scheduled shortly after. However, when I called the doctors office last week, they said they hadn’t sent it to the insurance company, but they would do it at the latest by Monday. So tonight I tried getting online at my insurance to see if they had it in their computers and the stupid thing wouldn’t accept my password and locked me out!!! Blasted computer! This will be the second time I’ve had to call and have them unlock my account. I understand why they are strict on this information, what with Hipaa and all, but geesh…give me a break. I had the password written down, and made sure I typed it correctly but it wouldn’t work. And of course, technical support is only available during the daytime hours. So, hopefully, I’ll get it taken care of during lunch tomorrow and will be blessed to find a pre-authorization number and can call the doctors office to schedule my surgery. I am hoping for March 20th. My mom can take off work that day. My husband will be off that Wednesday thru Friday for Spring Break, so he’ll only have to take off two days of vacation time (he works for a university and is too lucky! Gets all kinds of days off!) My boss asked me if I had a date yet. I said no, but was hoping for March 20th, and he said, “That soon?” Heck yeah, I’ve been waiting for this for 5 years! This is my time! I just wish I wasn’t so impatient. Well, it’s late and I need my beauty sleep! More later~Kim

February 19, 2006 12:00 am
Well, I ended up calling the office (weird…There is the Center for the Treatment of Obesity office. The doctor’s office is the same place, but I have to call different numbers to talk to them.) on Thursday, to make sure they sent my stuff off, because when I talked to my insurance company earlier that day. They said yes, they did, on Wednesday. They told me they would do it by Monday at the latest. Yes, that’s only two days later, but still. I was frustrated. They did tell me that the girl who follows up with insurance was still there (5:30 in the evening) and would call the insurance company. She called me back by six and said that the ins. co. was closed. She said she’d follow up on Friday and let me know something as soon as she found out. Well, on Friday night at 5:30 she called me and told me that I had been approved. She said Anthem usually only takes 24-48 hours to approve and she was right!!! So now I have to call Dr. Olsen’s office and schedule a date. She told me I could do it first thing on Monday morning. Well, seeing is how it’s all the same office, I thought I’d try calling on Friday night. (she was still there, why couldn’t the doctor’s staff still be there?) Well, his office closes at 3:30 on Friday, so I guess I’ll have to wait till Monday after all. A whole weekend!!! On Friday, I thought that would take forever to get here. Yet, here it is Sunday and the weekend has flown! Probably because I spent yesterday in a Boater Safety Class. That’s 10 hours of my life I’ll never get back! But at least we’ll get a discount on our boat insurance now! And just think, I’ll be wanting to go out on the lake this summer with my new thin self!!! Today we’re going to my parent’s house to celebrate my sister’s birthday. I haven’t seen my family since Christmas. It’s really sad since they only live 45 minutes away. We just don’t go to see them that much. And when we lived 5 hours away from them, I saw them at least once a month, and I moved home to be closer to them. I guess that’s the thing, I’m closer to them now, so if something happens I can get to them sooner. I just don’t visit as much…gosh I’m rambling…sorry if anyone happens to be reading this!!! I’ve been trying to start watching what I’m eating and trying to get protein first. I’ve lost my appetite just thinking about what is in store for me after surgery. I need to really get at it so I’ll have everything ready and be mentally prepared. Ok, done rambling…I’ll add more tomorrow when I HAVE A DATE!!!!!

February 20, 2006 12:00 am
I HAVE A DATE! I HAVE A DATE! I HAVE A DATE! I HAVE A DATE! Four weeks from today, I will be my new birthday! I am so excited! I have exactly four weeks to get everything in order…is this time going to go fast or super slow???? I bet it will seem like both. I have so much to do, but it’ll never get here!! I’ll update pictures tonight! Have to get my husband to start taking pictures of me starting tonight!!

February 26, 2006 12:00 am
Here’s a list of things I can’t wait to do when I lose weight:

1. Fly in a plane without a seatbelt extender.

2. Shop in a non-plus size store.

3. Have people look at me because I’m pretty, or have a cute outfit on, not because I’m different.

4. Use a seatbelt and it not lock up if I lean forward, or hang out the door when I get out.

5. Use a regular bathroom stall and not a handicapped one.

6. Get a piggy back ride from my husband.

7. Have my husband carry me over the threshold for the first time.

8. Not have by booty hang off chairs in restaurants or at work.

9. Wear clothes other than stretchy sweat pants.

10. Have my picture taken and like the way I look.

11. Buy sexy underwear.

12. Climb the 40 foot tower at the youth camp I used to work at.

13. Go to an amusement park and fit into every ride I want to ride.

14. Get a massage and feel confident about myself.

I’m sure there is more…I’ll add them later!

March 10, 2006 12:00 am
I chose to do this. I chose to take control of my life and have WLS. I chose to vow that for the rest of my life I would eat healthy foods and exercise. But here I am, 9 days before surgery, crying. And why? I’m going through my pantry and giving all of the foods that I know I won’t be able to eat and shouldn’t eat. I am mourning the loss of food. It started out as a “plan my last dinner” event. But as I start pulling stuff out, and planning dinner for the next week for me and my husband and what to give to my friend, I cry. Luckily, she is there (laughing at me, but only to make me laugh, not truly laughing AT me). I felt like I was about to check myself into detox or something and was getting rid of all the bad things for me. Especially with her there watching me. Mind you, she was only there for support, but it was pretty sad, when I just leaned up against the door and cried. She reminded me that once I start dropping the weight, I won’t even care about the food I can’t have. I hope that is the case. In fact, I pray that I’ll never feel hungry (in my stomach…I know I’ll always be hungry in my head.) And I try to remind myself, I’m sure walking out of a normal sized clothing store will feel much better than eating a piece of cake or a bowl of pasta. Tonight is the first time I’ve had doubts. Hopefully, I’ll get over them soon.

March 11, 2006 12:00 am
Ok. I’m feeling much better now. I spent a couple of hours at the day spa and enjoyed a pedicure and a facial and now feel pretty relaxed. I also came home and slept (usually cures all that ails me) and now I’m feeling better. Still kind of down about losing my edible best friends, but keeping it in perspective. Soon, I’ll be thinking less about that and more about buying new clothes and living a healthier life. Thank you to everyone who has responded to my venting and crying on the message boards. It helps so much and I want to thank you for it!

March 16, 2006 12:00 am
Just a few more days until I’m a loser!!! Woo Hoo! I’m excited and nervous. Today I went to Wal-Mart to get all of my stuff for the weekend. What I like to call “Crapfest 2006.” Last year I had Crapfest 2005 when I had to prep for a colonoscopy. But I only had to drink one bottle of the stuff. On Saturday, I have to drink two bottles of the stuff and have a full liquid diet. Then on Sunday, I go to clear liquids. Tomorrow night we’re having a St. Patrick’s Day/Goodbye to my Stomach party. Originally, we were gonna have all kinds of pasta and anything I thought I’d never be able to eat again. Then, I decided, I didn’t really care, cause I’ve been so nervous that I’ve barely been able to eat anyway. I feel as if I’ve been pigging out these past two weeks, but when I went to have my pre-op blood test/EKG and meet with the nutritionist, I had lost a few pounds. Not enough to count, and I’ll probably gain them back tomorrow, but still. I’ll try to post before surgery, but I can’t promise. We’ve got most of the house clean, so I won’t be feeling like I need to clean when I get home, but still need to do some work. I’m gonna try to do that this weekend. Wish me luck!

March 18, 2006 12:00 am
A little over 24 hours until surgery…boy am I nervous! I’ve been doing to bowel prep today. Not the greatest day of my life, but not the worst. I’ve been wanting to eat something more than ice cream or pudding, or cream of chicken soup. I want some food, but it’s gonna be a good two weeks before that happens. I might eat some jello, maybe I can chew on it or something. I’ve called some friends that I haven’t talked to in a while. It was nice to catch up. One of them knew I was having surgery but the other didn’t. And luckily, both are very supportive. The one that knew about the surgery actually had it herself, so she’s good to have around for asking questions about the surgery, and having someone who knows what I’m going through. My mom told me she’s bought me some pajamas and a robe. I asked her to get me some slippers for the hospital, but she got me those too. Bless her heart. I don’t think the pjs will fit, but who knows. She means well. I have so many wonderful people supporting me right now, and that means so much to me. Well, if I don’t post again before surgery, see you on the losing side!

April 2, 2006 12:00 am
Well, this is my first post since surgery. I have just not felt up to it until now. My surgery was on the 20th. Everything went fine. I was able to have it done laproscopic. The first major pain I had was when the nurse made me stand up the first time. I felt like someone was punching me in the stomach over and over. I cried, I moaned, I tried to sit down, but the nurse said this would be the worst. She was right. It got easier and easier. I was in the hospital from Monday to Thursday. I had two drains from surgery. Dr. Olsen took one of them out the day I was discharged, because it was causing me great pain. Everything was fine until Sunday. I woke up with horrible pain in my left shoulder, front and back, and in my left ribcage. Well, I called the doctor on call and he said that it was from the drain and the pain was normal. He said to call Dr. Olsen on Monday. Well, I did that and got an appointment for Tuesday. Dr. Olsen took the drain out. I was still in some pain, but thought it was just from the drain site. He drew some blood and let me go home. He later called me and asked how I was doing. Still in some pain, but overall ok. He said my white blood count was up, and that meant some infection, and if I had any problems, call him. Well, I took some pain medications and went to bed. When my husband came home from work, he woke me up and I immediately knew something was wrong. I had a fever of 100.1 and was in terrible pain. I called Dr. Olsen immediately, and he told me to go to the ER at Centennial and that I would be admitted. Apparently, my drain stopped draining, and caused an infection in my gut. So, I got to spend another four days in the hospital, on iv’s for dehydration and iv antibiotics for the infection. This stay was much better than the first, because I was more alert and not in as much pain. So on Friday (the 31st) I was released to come home. Now, my biggest goal is to get all of my fluids in. I have head hunger beyond belief. All I want is buffalo chicken strips, pizza and pringles. And I can do without the pringles. Mostly the chicken strips and pizza. I can’t wait til I’m off of this liquid stage. I’m gonna have some melted cheese with a dab of pizza sauce. I’m sure that will cure my craving for pizza. And I’ll just have to wait a while for the chicken strips. Well, that is all I have for today. Oh, when I weighed on my Tuesday appointment, I had lost 23 pounds. In eight days!!! Of course, Dr. Olsen said it was because I wasn’t drinking enough water and that wasn’t good. So I’ve probably put some back on as I was getting hydrated in the hospital, but that’s ok. I want to be healthy! After all, that’s why I went through this whole thing! To have a healthier me!

April 4, 2006 12:00 am
Life has been pretty rough for me lately. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t regret having surgery. I know it’s just depression kicking in. I am still having a hard time getting my water in. My protein too. I got one protein drink in today. It just sits weird on my stomach. I don’t know what more I can do but keep trying. I bet the doctor won’t advance me to blended food on Friday if I don’t get everything in. I’m just so down. I went back to work yesterday. Worked for eight hours and it busted my butt. I was on the phone with a friend after work and kept falling asleep. I fell asleep at 5:30 and slept til 9:30, then went to bed at 11 and slept through the night. My hubby thinks it’s because I’m not getting in all of my water and protein. I don’t know. I’m still taking antibiotics for the infection and I still have pain. I’m almost out of pain medicine, but since it’s Demerol, the doctor can’t call it in. I guess I’m just gonna have to fight through it. Hopefully things will get better soon. I’ll write more soon! ~Kim

April 28, 2006 12:00 am
So I guess I’m not one to update much. I swore I would, and as much time as I spend on my computer, you’d think I would. And here I am nearly a month later, just now updating. Things have gotten better. I’m doing ok on my water. Not so well on food. Once I started eating food, it seemed like the only thing I could handle well was scrambled eggs. So I ate them so much I’m just totally burned out on eggs!! Now I’ve moved on to chicken. I can’t remember when I started eating chicken last week, but that’s all I’ve had. Sometimes I have it plain, sometimes I put mushrooms, tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese on it. Sometimes I take a bite as I’m taking it off the bone and then stupid me take a drink and throw it up. (That just happened by the way. First time puking since surgery, thank you very much! I felt so stupid! But I figured, it was just a bite. But of course, I didn’t chew it well, and then I’m sure it was stuck. Luckily that tea made it come up very promptly. In fact, too promptly. I barely made it to the bathroom!) Anyway, chicken, chicken, chicken! I hear so many people say they know of people who still can’t eat chicken two years out. And I’ve read how many people on Obesity Help still can’t handle chicken too well. I guess this is God looking out for me and making sure I can get my protein in. Plus, chicken is like my favorite meat to begin with, so yay me! I’ve had some shrimp, loved it, but got tired of it after eating it twice! I’ve tried turkey hot dogs. Must be too fatty or something cause after I eat one, maybe one and a half (with cheese dipped in mustard) my belly starts hurting. (last night for dinner and again today for lunch!) So I don’t think I’m gonna have those any more. I’m trying to do good about not cheating, but my head hunger gets the best of me. On Sunday I had to make potato salad for a dinner I was hosting the next day. Well, my doc tells us to stay away from potatoes, breads, pastas until we reach goal. Well, I had some. Not many. After I finished steaming them, I took a few chunks out, mashed them with a fork, added fat free butter spray and salt and boy were they good! I wish I could have potatoes all the time! Then, as I was mixing the salad, I had to taste it twice to see if it was right. Then I took a third bite just to have it. That was definately enough. I didn’t even want anymore. I know I don’t need to tempt fate like that, but it was a moment of weakness! On a positive note, today, my weight loss is…drumroll please…down 48 pounds since surgery!!! Woo Hoo! While I was at work, I realized, in 4.5lbs, I’ll be down 1/4 of my weight that I wanted to lose!! Go Me! My clothes are starting to get looser. I can tell it in my face a little bit. I’m gonna wait until two months before I get more pictures, since I missed month one. My short term goal is to lose 100 lbs in three months. I hope I can do it! I’m ready to really look different. I know, I need to be patient. After all, it’s not like I gained all this weight overnight! Ok, I guess I better go! Just a little awake after my puking episode. Thank God for this surgery. I feel so blessed! ~Kim

May 3, 2006 12:00 am
Not much has been going on lately. I’ve had a horrible craving for dill pickles. I’ve had a few. I don’t eat the skins, cause they’re too tough and I don’t want them causing me any problems. But they are good!!! I’ve lost 51 pounds as of yesterday. I’m trying not to get on the scale too much, but I can’t help it! I don’t get upset if I gain a pound or two. I know that’s normal. But I love seeing a loss! Ok, I just wanted to give a little update!~Kim

May 25, 2006 12:00 am
I’ve decided to update my profile after some gentle prodding from Cathy S. She’s been such a great mentor and I want to tell her thank you. Look her up! She’s such a LOSER!!!
I’ve taken some pics, when I look at them, it tells me that I have lost weight, even when the scales don’t show it. In the two month pics, I don’t look too happy. I’m just now feeling back to normal…well, kinda normal. I was having some real big problems. Numbness in my arms and hands. Muscle cramping, and just a general horrible feeling. I finally went to my PCP because when I told my surgeon of the numbness, he said it didn’t sound surgical. So I went to my PCP and she ran bloodwork and found out that my potassium was extremely low. So now, for the next three days (already done it two days, today is day two) I have to take potassium twice a day, and then once a day until I see her June 14th. I must say, the potassium is bad. (Not as bad as what I had in the hospital, but still not the best.) It smells like orange soda, but tastes like very salty orange soda. It makes me gag every time! But, healthwise, I’m feeling much better. Not as much numbness in the hands, and not the general tired feeling I’ve had since surgery. I’ve been craving vegetables really bad lately. Last night I sauteed some onion, squash and zucchini with some chicken and it was pretty good. The squash was the best. So guess what I’m having for dinner? Squash, onion and chicken! ~Kim

May 26, 2006 12:00 am
I weighed today and am down to 295! It feels great to be under 300 pounds. Sometimes I wonder how I ever let myself get that overweight, but I did. It will never happen again. This surgery will not fail! I got an email from Jan M. with pictures of her journey! Great job Jan! Keep up the great work! In the words of my friend Cathy S., “You’re such a LOSER!”~Kim

June 29, 2006 12:00 am
Today I finally broke my mini-plateau, if you can call it that. I’m down to…278. That’s 82 pounds lost. It has definately been a journey. I’ve finally gotten my potassium levels under control. I feel like a different person. I’m still not as energetic as I thought I would be, but definately don’t feel as dog tired as I was. I still haven’t started exercising. I plan on starting on Monday. I’ve been having some crazy work days these past few weeks with lots of overtime. My check should be really good tomorrow, which excites me. I’ve found a wonderful new PCP. He’s had WLS too and is so nice. My last doctor didn’t want me to have the surgery. (She didn’t come right out and say it, but when I asked for a referral, she didn’t even write a letter. She wrote on a script pad that “this pt. would be a good candidate for WLS, as she could not be weighed on my scale at last visit, IF she passes a psychological exam.” This is why I think she didn’t want me to have it.) Well, as I was having some serious issues with the potassium and was scared because I didn’t know at the time what was wrong with me, she’s examining me and says, “So this was easier than a diet?” Well, actually, it is a diet. I have completely changed my eating habits. Then at another appointment, she said, “So, you just couldn’t go on a diet?” I decided right then and there, she was not the doctor for me. I had tried to get into my new doctor before, but his nurses said I needed a referral. Well, my surgeon said for me to get to an internist. And that was my in. Especially after he heard how my old doctor treated me. He had no nice words to say for her and said that he was ashamed to have to call her a colleague. He has lost over 200 lbs himself, and feels better than ever. I’m so excited to have him as a doctor! Well, here is my new pictures. I can’t tell too much difference between month two and month three, but I guess that’s ok. ~Kim 359/278/150

August 9, 2006 12:00 am
Well, I’ve finally done it! I’ve lost 100 pounds! It took a little longer than I was hoping, but I’m finally there! If I would start exercising, I’m sure it would come off even faster! I’m talking to a personal trainer to set up a time to go over equipment at the gym to help motivate me tomorrow. I’m really enjoying wearing all kinds of cute clothes. Luckily, I have a friend who wears the size that I am now wearing, and she’s got tons of clothes, so she lets me borrow them! I have a business trip that I’m going on next week, and I found all the clothes I needed at her house! Now, making sure I can eat properly on the trip is gonna be a lot harder! I’ll update after the trip!! ~Kim 359/259/150…five more pounds until I’m half way to goal!!!! oh, by the way, I checked my bmi and I am no longer super morbidly obese. I’m just obese!!! go me!

September 12, 2006 12:00 am
So, I guess I haven’t updated because…well…I’m a reality show junkie. The only thing I do is watch tv. It’s really sad. However, I am down to 244 pounds. I just got back from vacation. I didn’t lose any weight, because there was too much food that I don’t usually have around in my sight and I also realized that not working left me feeling hungry all the time. Yes, just head hunger, but still hungry none the less. So, now that I’m back home I’m back on track. And believe it or not, I think I’m gonna start exercising. Here’s what made me realize I finally can. I was walking the dog (something I never do) while on vacation and she walks fast. (She’s a beagle and gets on a scent and takes off.) So basically, she starts to walk really fast and I am a mosier. Not a fast walker at all. I had to take off, in a trot, if you will, and once she slowed down, I realized, I’m not out of breath, and I actually feel better than I did before I started the walk. So, my thinking is, maybe walking, or (gasp) running might make me feel better and help get my weight loss back on track. Who’d a thunk it? I’ll update sometime soon! ~Kim

October 8, 2006 12:00 am
Well, I had my six month doctor’s appointment. And all is good. Since my journey started, I have lost 130 pounds! I have 79 pounds to go to get to my goal. And only 39 pounds to get to my doctor’s goal. Isn’t that cool! I’m going to try to reach my goal by my one year mark. My hubby isn’t sure that I can make it. He’s not trying to be doubtful, I don’t think. I think he’s just worried that if I don’t make it I’ll be too hard on myself. I don’t think that will happen. I think it might be a reasonable goal. That’s fourteen pounds a month. If I get really strict with everything, I think it can happen. It seems that as long as I drink my protein shake every morning, I can stay on track. So, that being said, I guess I need to order some more protein! Until next time…~Kim 359/229/150

November 4, 2006 10:00 pm
So, I’ve lost 139 lbs as of this morning. Hopefully tomorrow it will be 140 lbs. I’m now in a size 18, the same size I was wearing in high school. I feel great! Not crazy about the loose skin, but what’s a girl to do? I have more energy than ever! I have been cleaning like mad. Reorganizing everything. I even cleaned the garage after work the other day just because. Not too shabby for me! Now if everyone else in the house would be as equally motivated. Me and hubby argued today over that because he doesn’t want to have to be on MY schedule. Well, I’m not asking him to, I’m just asking him to step up and be a little more motivated about our home. It’s so frustrating! It was like pulling teeth to get him to move a few heavy boxes for me!!! Argghhh! I love him but sometimes I want to choke him. Luckily, he’s a great person, and these moments we have are getting fewer and fewer. Since we’ve both lost weight (he’s lost over 50 pounds) we get along so much better. We enjoy each others company. We goof off all the time and play. It’s great! Today we took our dog and had our pictures made at a fund raiser for the Humane Society. Hopefully they’ll turn out good. Ok, it’s time for me to head to bed. ~Kim

January 27, 2007 9:58 pm
(WARNING…this will probably just be random ramblings…lately my journal has been that way too! Just a warning!) Life has been so weird for me lately. I look in the mirror and sometimes I like what I see. Other times I feel like I’m still 359 pounds. I hate the loose skin. I have it on my thighs, stomach and arms. The thighs, well, it bothers me, but not too much. Same with the stomach. Every time I look in the mirror without clothes, I pull up my stomach, try to imagine what I would look like without the roll, and then get depressed. Then today, I really discovered how much skin is on my arms. Way worse than any other part. Probably a good three to four inches hung down. GROSS! Then, I told my DH about it (me noticing it) and decided to show him and he said it probably wasn’t any different that what he’s been seeing. So, that tells me he might have issues with the skin, even though I’ve asked him and he said no. He acts like he likes my body now. We laugh in bed because I put his hand on my hip and he feels a bone! I’m discovering all of these bones that I never knew I had…collar bone, hip bones, the bones in your inner thigh that you could never feel being morbidly obese. I asked DH the other day if when we are…ahem… “intimate” if it is like he’s with another person. He said, ” No, not really, but it is different.” When I asked him how, he said that we were closer together now. That made me laugh. We are always talking about that. When we hug, we can get our arms completely around each other. Not only have I lost 175 lbs, he’s lost over 50. For the longest time he weighed less than me, and finally I surpassed him. I’m in a stall right now, but that’s ok. I’m dealing with it and trying to get back to basics and leave the carbs alone. They have such a hold on me. I woke up this morning and after weighing, I decided, I’m gonna be very strict with my eating today. Boy, that flew out the window by noon. I went to Walgreens to pick up some pictures and ended up buying a can of cashews and almonds. Then I went to get some BBQ for lunch and ordered some french fries to go with it! Luckily, my pouch can keep the portions under control, but I’m so weak! And after I ate I felt like crap all day. We went to the home and garden show and when we came home at 3:00 I took a nap til nearly 6:00. Then I was back in bed by 8:00 cause I felt so bad. Then by 9:00 I was back up eating my dinner. And now here it is 12:00. I will go to bed soon. Maybe. If you’ve read this far, wow, you have a good attention span!! I would’ve stopped reading by now!!!!! Just like I’m about to stop writing! Goodnight! ~Kim 359/184/150 -175 pounds! Edited to add: I forgot…I saw my PaPa the other day (my mom’s stepdad) and he looked at me (after mom had said she thought I looked thinner than two weeks before) and said…”You look weird!” I think that’s the best compliment I’ve had in a while! This is coming from the man whos usual nickname for me was fat butt! He’s my favorite grandfather, but with being called that for so many years, I’m surprised I don’t hate him. I guess I know he did it because that’s his way of showing love, by picking at you. He doesn’t hardly speak to my sister but she hardly says two words to him either. I tease him constantly and he eats it up. One time after surgery he said, boy (we call each other boy) you’ve lost some weight. and poked him in his belly and told him he found it! The day he told me that I looked weird, I told him that I’d lost more weight than my dad weighed. Dad weighs 154. Then PaPa gets his walker, walks over to the scale and gets on and weighs 164. Well, now I’ve lost more than papa too! I really want to try to pick someone up who weighs what I’ve lost to see and remember what it was like carrying that much weight around. Problem is, I’d probably hurt whoever I tried to pick up and myself right along with it! Ok, now I’m really gonna shut up! ~Kim

March 4, 2007 9:47 pm
Ok, so I visit my family today. I saw most of them about a month ago. Haven’t changed dramatically in a month. Still wearing a size 14. Maybe dropped 5-10 pounds, not real sure without looking at my food/diet/weight journal. Anyhow, we’re sitting at the table eating dinner, and my mom is asking me if the chicken is ok. It’s a little dry, but it’s ok, I’m still able to eat it, no big deal. So we start talking about the stuff I can eat. I tell her I can eat whatever I want, I choose to eat healthy for the most part. This has become my standard answer when anyone asked me about what I can eat. Yes, sometimes I have stuff that is not good for me. This weekend I had pizza. It was not a whole pizza, not even a 1/4 of pizza, but I was really craving it and ate it. Anyway, back to my point. We were talking about it, and my mom and aunt both said, “You don’t need to lose anymore weight.” Well, I told them that I was not at my goal yet and that I wanted to weigh 150 pounds, so I still have 23 pounds to go. I was quickly told that I would look sick if I lost that much, and I should stop now. So I followed that up with, “It is in my range that for my height, that is a proper weight to now longer be overweight. My doctor said I could still weigh 140 and be ok.” So, what do they say? But that’s how much we weigh, and you’re taller than us? Now, let me get this straight. I’m wearing a size 14 now, can squeeze into a 12, but not comfortably enough to wear for extended periods of time. They are telling me that I shouldn’t lose anymore weight because of???? They really didn’t have any valid points in my eyes, and it really ticked me off. So, because I’m 5′8″, I cannot wear a size 12, 10, 8, (gasp) 6, without looking sick? Well, I bit my tongue. No since in stirring up drama, wasn’t worth my time. I’m all stressed out anyway because I’ve been having withdrawals all weekend (coming off of Lortab for around four months) and didn’t take any pain or nerve medicine today, so I figure, why start anything. So after everyone had left mom’s, I was looking in the mirror, and decided, forget it. I’m gonna say something. I told mom that I thought she was crazy saying that I didn’t need to lose anymore weight. I’m still considered overweight and until I reach a BMI that is Normal, I’m gonna try, try and try some more. I expect comments from the men in my family, basically because they don’t pay any attention, and well, I don’t expect a lot out of them anyway. My grandpa said that if I lost anymore weight, I’d blow away. That didn’t bother me. Later on, after dinner, it was just him and I and he asked how much more I was gonna lose and I said 23 pounds and I would weigh 150. He then asked how much I weighed now and I told him. He said that’s what he weighed, and left it at that. What makes the females in my family think it is perfectly ok for me to weigh what the males in my family weigh (with the exception of my dad who weighs 150 soakin’ wet) or more? It is because I’ve always been the fat person in the family and they want to keep me as their token fat girl? What the crap! I honestly don’t think they were saying those things to hurt my feelings or tick me off but they did. It’s not like I haven’t had enough self esteem problems and body image problems before without them saying if I lost much more weight I’d look sick. Funny thing was, I don’t recall anyone ever saying to my sister that she looked sick when she was anorexic and was a size 0. Yes, they mentioned that she was thin, but I don’t recall anyone ever telling her she looked sick even though she did. So irritating. If you’ve read this far, thanks for sticking with me. I think I’m through with this. I was gonna try to let it go, but can’t. I’m sure once I go to sleep, I’ll get over it!!! ~Kim 359/173 (and not done, till I get to…)/150

May 23, 2007 6:47 pm
Wow! I haven’t posted in a while! Life definately has changed for me! I’m 10 pounds from goal. I have lost 199 pounds in 14 months! Who’d have thought that was ever possible? I just wish I felt better! I’m tired all the time. My doctor thinks I have fibromyalgia. I’m hurting all the time! Today I had to call off work because I felt so bad but my doctor couldn’t see me until tomorrow, so more time I’ll have to take off! I’ve been switching between pain relievers (Ultram and Lortab) because it seems my body gets used to them and don’t work after a while. I’ve found that if I switch up, it tends to help. I just wish I didn’t have to take anything at all! I should feel way better than this! I feel like my appetite is coming back. I’m able to eat a lot more than I was in the first year. Luckily, I’ve changed my eating habits, and even if I do snack (which is a no no per my doctor) it is something that is healthy (which I told him about and he pooh poohed it, so that told me it was ok.) I’ve done more things lately that I’ve never done before. Last month Jason and I went on vacation to Lexington to see some friends. I rode a horse for the very first time in my life. I LOVED IT!! There is a place near us that does horseback rentals, so sometime this summer, we’re going to go again! I loved it and can see me doing it on a regular basis. Ok, I guess I’m done rambling! I’m gonna add some recent pictures! Enjoy! ~Kim 359/160/150 -199 pounds gone!

August 5, 2007 9:58 am
Well, time sure does fly! I reached my weight goal on the 20th of July, sixteen months to the date of surgery! This morning (my 33rd birthday, thank you very much) I weighed in at 145. The lowest in my adult life! I’m wearing a size 10 in pants and probably a Medium in shirts, but I haven’t bought any shirts in a while, so I don’t know for sure. I eat pretty much whatever I want, I just try to keep it healthy and protein based. But, last week one day I did eat pizza. I had been craving it, and you know, I’m at goal now, so, what the heck! It was very good, but nothing I would do on a regular basis. That is how I ended up overweight in the first place, by poor eating habits!

Anyway, there’s my update. I’ll load photos from yesterday. They are the latest photos I’ve got! My mom took them at her house!

Kim
359/145/150  -211 pounds and BELOW GOAL!

Well, here is my first post on my WLS blog. I just decided to do this when I had to log in to leave a comment on someone else’s blog. So I thought, why not! Maybe I’ll update this soon and get all of my before and after photos up here soon! In the meantime, you can visit my stamping blog at realityshowreject.blogspot.com